I decided on yet another “journey”. This time ,I for the first time in my life ,went on vacation alone. When I was on vacation which I might add was in another country I watched other people interact and I found it so interesting. I find people are the same wherever they come from they just  have cultural differences. I think we all have basic needs. We want to be happy and enjoy life. I read my books and truly relaxed. I thought you needed someone to be with you but you do not. I think traveling with someone is very good but now that I seen the other side it can be invigorating to touch base with yourself! I learned a lot about myself on this trip. It is funny you always hear about “soul searching” and think what does that really mean? I think I finally know what those two words mean.  I learned I am self sufficient and I am happy in my own skin. We can develop and mature and at this point that is what I am doing. I think the old phrase “ I am finding myself” is now very true for me.  Sometimes you need to hold the bar up a little higher in your life and you might be very surprised at what you find!

Fantasies…..we look for the Mr. Right, Knights in Shining Armor and Prince Charming. Who are they? Do they exist? I am not sure. I think Mr. Right does exist. My one friend is married 37 years. I guess that was Mr. Right.  I have looked for my knight in shining armor. I guess I am the romantic type. I read all these books which there are a damsel in distress and she is swept up by this Knight. So maybe I should have just looked for Mr. Right?  Where is Prince Charming? He is stuck in a novel! Some of my friends say they have found Mr. Right …..Now. That can make them happy even if the romance is short lived. So I wonder what should we look for in romance? I think there are many Mr. Rights and Prince Charmings. But there is only one Knight in Shining Armor…..because you are your own Knight……saving yourself!!

It is funny but I am still pondering on my journey to the past. I am still not totally sure what I received from the visit. Yesterday I took my 8 year old grandson to Manhattan. As we were traveling I realized something I did get from my”visit”. I felt completely confident being in control of the day in Manhattan. I knew the subway system just like when I was a teenager. I had forgotten so much since I moved away. But it was much more than the fact I knew the subway it was I was sure of myself. I think when I married I let my husband be my navigator through life. I had a good job and was very competent but I felt he was there in case I was unsure of my own decisons. But now I feel like I got back the person I would have become all those years ago if I had made different choices. The person I have become is sure of herself. She can be alone and handle it well. How many times do we feel afraid? Afraid of making decisions of going on the wrong way on the road of life? I have come to wonder if there is a wrong way or just the way we have chosen.