Archive for May, 2012
Friendship is still mystifying to me. I have a friend who was depending on another friend for an important favor. Then right before they were to do the favor they said they could not do it leaving my friend in a whirlwind of trying to coordinate someone else to help her. I know some other people lately who seem to be friends but talk about each other to other people. What is friendship I ask??? The two people that are friends but talk to other people about each other both had problems recently. The two of them rallied for each other in an honestly caring manner. So who would have thought???? Now the friend who needed the favor told me of her problem and I offered to help her .She needed more than one person so she started to ask neighbors and by the time she was going away she had all the help she needed. At this point is when I realized what I felt all along…..Most of the time people will be there when you need them….there are more “good and caring” people than not. My friend said to me you might not need my help one day like I needed you but someone will and I will give back to them…..the same as you gave me…Now this is reciprocating…………………………friends
What is attraction? I used to say it is when your heart pops when you see that person. I met someone a few years ago who I felt an immediate attraction. I thought he was perfect for me as I was perfect for him. This was clearly not the case. Our attraction was based on the physical and some emotional ties but actually there are psychological reasons for “falling in love”. These include proximity to each other and having similar likes and dislikes. So attraction is all in the mind. What stands for attraction could be different when you get older. It may not be the physical or that thundering electricity passing through each other. The attraction could be simple as having someone you can relax with since this was not achieved before with your other mates. The birds and bees…… examples you always hear associated with love but remember they do not get along! So again I ask what is attraction? Is it the electricity you feel when that person is standing close? Is it when that person stands by your side through life’s changes whether good or bad? So does attraction mean compatibility? Or can attraction between two people pass when they do not have the other more palatable qualities? So thunder and electric are good to watch for the excitement and thrill but when it comes down to it we would most probably take a quiet sunny day over it anytime…….
The other day a friend was talking to me about another personwho is in a relationship. That person seems different now. My friend said you know when someone is in the beginning of a relationship they are carefree and happy. I have been thinking about that comment for a few days. Does being in a relationship mean you are happy for a while only? This is something to think about….When I was growing up you read all those teen romance novels that had the girl meet the boy fall in love and forever be happy .The ending was they lived happily ever after. But did you really ever see them get old?? So really maybe even they were only happy in the “beginning” of the relationship. I know someone else who at her own party in her beautiful home was asked the question, are you dating? She said not right now. They said oh but you do look good anyway. So here is a woman who is very active, generally happy, good job and her own home but “she is ok even without a significant other”. Why when you are single everyone is always looking for someone for you? You need to be in a relationship for happiness? Even if the happiness might be short lived?? The answer may lie in what you expect and want from a relationship. Do you think this person will be your ultimate happy?? But the truth is only you can make yourself happy and fulfilled. A relationship between two adults can be very rewarding and last forever if both parties grow together but branch out to be their own personalities. A person who does not have a relationship is also growing and branching out in their life. Do you think the answer in the end could be: it does not matter whether you are in a relationship or not as long as you are happy within yourself??
Most of us have been involved with a rumor. Whether we have started it, listened to it or repeated it. I have a friend who has heard a very disturbing rumor. She is in a morale dilemma on what to do if anything about what she has heard. This has made me think about the rumors I have heard in the past. When I was in high school there was always someone talking about someone else usually if not all the time in a negative way. I tried not to listen and repeat the rumor. But as a teenager this is hard with all the peer pressure around you. So here I am 50 something and still hearing rumors! These rumors can damage a person’s career, marriage and sometimes the person’s entire life. When do we grow up and realize hurting other people will not in the end make us more popular or feel better about ourselves? I myself had rumors flying around at work in the midst of my divorce. These rumors were very hurtful during a very trying time in my life where I had hoped for support from my co workers. I know another person who had rumors saturating her workplace to the point it ruined her marriage and her position at the job. I ask why a person would do this at this time in our lives. We should at this point understand and grow enough within ourselves to not want to perpetuate bad talk about someone else. Is it to be popular? You feel the others will look up to you as the “in the loop” knowledgeable person. Is it to feel better about ourselves? We feel our lives are not that bad if someone else is having bigger problems. Whatever the reasons are for people to spread rumors….it needs to stop and it can …with you………………..