Archive for April, 2012
So you are looking to date and want to try internet dating? The dating game on the internet can be challenging. I have a friend who found the “perfect guy”. They emailed and went on their first date. She was so happy. He seemed to be everything she wanted! They had lunch went to a park and put out a blanket by a pond. The conversation was great. My friend went home and could not wait for him to call. The next day he called!! She answered the phone and he told her he had been diagnosed with bipolar disease and everything he had said the day before was lie! This may sound bizarre but not for internet dating. I know another woman who went out to dinner and liked the man. They went out again and that is when he said his wife was found dead in their house and he was most definitely not guilty. I myself have met a foot fetish man! I met a man from the internet at a bookstore once who after a cup of coffee wanted us to take a walk in a wooded area alone Sometimes you want to run when they walk in the restaurant. This goes for either sex. I have had men tell me that some women put pictures of themselves from so many years ago you do not even recognize them I also know people who met through the dating sites married and are still together. When you meet someone through school, work or friends you know a little something about them. On the dating sites it is basically what they tell you and whether you believe or not. So now what? What do 50 and single people do??? Do we not try a dating site?? So many questions…. No I think you can try this type of dating but this is where you need to use your judgment and what they call “gut instinct”. From what I hear your “gut” is never ever wrong!!
I saw pictures of these puppies that were going to die at a shelter. As an animal lover and a human being I felt so sad. I thought what can I do to help them? I have two dogs and a cat already. It is so hard seeing someone in need of help and feeling so helpless. I felt like that when my father died. You cannot save the world but my motto was always, “but you can try”. Again I say it is your heart that governs because the heart represents your life. Your heart beats inside your breast and if it stops you are dead. There are times in your life when you think your heart is broken into pieces and it will never be whole again. Every time you feel hurt over a lost love or a death or a sad story you think this is it never again! Most of us have had that feeling more than once in our lives. I remember the times in my life when I said I will never love again and next thing my heart is pumping and I feel love. It has always been hard for me to see an animal or a person in need and not go to help. But it is difficult sometimes when you do not have the resources to help. You can volunteer your time to help the causes close to your heart. In doing this you may not be able to save the world all at once just a little bit at a time! This post may seem a little different then the rest of my posts but it is the same theme……it is all about growing as a person ….. AMAZING things happen when you spread the love you have deep inside!!
So now I have spoken about dating after 50 what about dating and sex? The men I have encountered on my quest to find a mate seem to be confused. They say “I want to start slowly and become friends first” and during the first date they are waiting for sex. Maybe it is I who is confused??? I have spoken to many women they all have said the same thing. The truth is men only want sex and they will do anything to get sex. I do not believe this is true but it is scary out there in the world of “mature dating”. Many of the men on the dating sites want to see picture after picture and their essay is all about wanting friendship and hopefully a long term relationship but when they write to you it is all about how the woman looks. They like big breasts or only attractive women. I met a man in a store. We had a very nice conversation and he asked if he could call me. He seemed like a good person. Then on the very first phone call he talked very sexual to the point I needed to hang up. So what is this big thing about sex? I am starting to wonder. Is sex so elusive that you must think of ways to get it? I watched an old movie one time and two people were going out on a date and the woman said lets get the first kiss over with so we can enjoy the rest of the evening. Should the woman now say let’s have sex to get the thought of sex out of the picture? I know this post is only from a woman’s perspective but I felt this needed to be said for all the women out there feeling bad about themselves because all they want is someone to like them for who they are and not just for a quick hop in the sack!
I was talking to a friend today about men. I had said it seemed difficult to find someone even just to date. She said that I was looking too hard. So after this talk I started to think what does “looking too hard” mean?? What do you do if you would like to date someone ? I have found my friends have gone on dating sites, speed dating and even bars. The workplace is really taboo. I have tried dating sites to no avail. It is hard when you are older to find someone to date. When you are younger there is always school and it seemed so much easier. Where do you find someone?? I first started out on this quest by thinking I would like to find the love of my life now it would be nice to find a date! I am a woman but I have spoken to many single men in this age group and they say the same thing. It is hard to find someone who has similar interests. As I said in one of my first posts we now are carrying a lot of baggage. I am starting to think that just maybe …….there is a chance you may not find someone and have to be content with the rest of your life. I think we are programmed to think we should be part of a couple. Most animals have a mate. The geese mate for life. Would it be nice if human beings could achieve this goal? So let me sum this up ….we need to be happy with ourselves and our lives as they are right now…..and the rest will follow….so my question is …can we be happy without a significant other??????